Have I ever told you about the worst cold sore I’ve ever had?
I mean I’ve had some pretty nasty outbreaks in my time, but this one takes the cake.
Yes, even worse than the hitler one…
See, what made this outbreak so particularly nasty is that it was by far the biggest, most painful cold sore I’d ever had.
I covered my top lip almost entirely, with only about half an inch of uninfected skin left on each side.
And obviously, it wasn’t JUST on my lip. Because why would it be?
No sir ee. This turd started on my lip and spread about half way up to my nose.
Oh, and just to make things worse, there were two smaller outbreaks on my bottom lip. Because of course there were.
I almost wish that I had a picture. Almost.
The shooting pain never let up. The itchiness was unbearable.
Eating, talking and pretty much anything I did with my mouth was like torture. Every time it moved, the pain came shooting back even worse.
And when the disgusting blisters finally ended, I had to deal with the scab of course.
And given the size of the cold sore, it was damn near impossible to deal with.
Because having one big scab on your lip means that you can’t really move it at all.
You have to keep it stiff, motionless at all times.
A small scab I can deal with, because you can still move a bit without reopening it like a can of tomato soup.
But when it’s one big scab that covers almost your entire lip? It reopened all the damn time.
I couldn’t do anything without blood oozing all over the place.
Couldn’t talk, couldn’t laugh, couldn’t eat a freaking sandwich.
Had to cut up all my food into tiny pieces because opening-wide-for-the-airplane wasn’t an option. And let me tell you, eating in small bites like that takes a loooong time. Actually gets boring.
Needless to say that I stayed hidden for weeks.
I played hermit until the scab was down to a manageable size. Until it actually looked like the remnants of a cold sore, not the result of a torture session from in of the Saw movies.
And that’s kind of the worst part really. When people ask you what the hell happened and you tell them it’s a cold sore, they always get that shocked look in their eyes.
Like you just blew their minds. Because they never knew just how big a cold sore can get, just how severely infected you really are.
I could go on and on.
I could keep talking about the work I was forced to missed. The friendly invitations I felt obligated to turn down. The depressing thoughts you get when you get too much “alone time” with the herpes virus…
But you get the picture.
It flat out sucks. No ifs or buts about it.
Thank god (if you’re into that kind of thing) those days are done. Thank god that I learned how all that pain could be avoided by freeing up my immune system with a few stupidly simple diet tweaks.
So if you can relate to all this and want to know what those tweaks are, sign up to our daily newsletter.
Because the longer you wait, the higher the chances are that you haven’t yet had the biggest cold sore of your life…
And trust me, you don’t want that.
Chris “the Cold Sore Killer” Mueller